If you're looking for the All Fours Group Chat meet-ups...

They are in the "chat" section of this Substack

So scroll around the chat and you’ll probably find people near you who want to meet up in person to talk freely and seriously. I’ve been thrilled watching these groups form entirely without me; it’s what I hoped for (and is pretty international, so don’t assume there’s no one near you.)

In the meantime, here is a large A4GC that took place in The Netherlands at De Balie last year with Aaf Brandt Corstius moderating a conversations between Bregje Hofstede, Romana Vrede, Susan Smit en Sunny Bergman. I thought it was very well done. What do you think?

And, rather than be completely disengaged from my physical reality, I will acknowledge that I’m currently in a hotel room, but not Excelsior/Davey-style. I came here, with my child and all my journals and photo albums, to flee the smoke and fires. And then I got quite sick, I have Covid. It’s been completely surreal to have a fever in this context, without things like a tea kettle. Nothing like my friends who lost everything, just difficult timing.

I don’t think these group chats are unrelated to our collective survival. The same women with whom I discuss relationships, sex and freedom I am now texting about air quality and shock and practical plans for getting though this (as well as unrelated topics: Are we allowed to talk about other things? asks my Jordi, who doesn’t know if her house is still standing. Yes, we must or we’ll go crazy.) Our ability to know what we need and act upon it remains fuzzy, obscure, hard to pull into focus — until we talk candidly with each other. Numbness and paralysis flourish in isolation, and meanwhile there is real joy and comfort (and such power) in our conversations. I feel dim-witted, blunted by illness and stress, but I suppose I’m posting anyway to draw upon this comfort, charge myself up for the challenges of a daunting day. xxx Stay safe.