MJ's Holiday Gift Guide!?

It's possible I changed my entire life so that I would have the time to make this

Is it any different or more amazing than other gift guides? Nope! Just: mine.

1. Mortar and Pestle Lip Paint (Fat and The Moon) $26

   

   This brick color is just so beautiful and pigmented; it leans more orange-y than blue-y. I put a little of this on and then a little of their lip balm. I've actually tried to find this color in a more lethal lipstick (thinking it would last longer) and have not been able to. And at the end of the day I do enjoy that it's not bad for me and made by some witches (just guessing) in Nevada City.

2. Poofy-Then-Cinched Vintage Black Leather Jacket $74.99

   

   It doesn't have to be this one but I think a vintage black leather cropped jacked with shoulder pads that *cinches* at the waist is a staple item. Wear with very little underneath, or with a turtleneck and gold chain with a pendant. They aren't hard to find. Just make sure they are kind of cartoonishly huge on top and then become adjustably small at the waist so you can pull it tight regardless of your waist size.

3. Kevin Killian’s Selected Amazon Reviews $32.95

   

   A whole vibrant, hilarious being in actual reviews for movies, books, hair conditioner, smelling salts, etc (by a major, important queer poet/editor/playwrite) painstakingly compiled by Semiotexte. I just read aloud from this book at the book launch event last week (pictured) and while listening to the other readers I actually thought of multiple people I want to give this book to including my dad, although I often worry he will look down on me for whatever I get him. He, in fact did not acknowledge the birthday present I sent him last month. (Also, you could kind of blindly order books from the Semiotexte website for all your gifts. If You’re A Girl by Anne Rower (with intro by my dear Sheila Heti) might even be a more spot on choice for my readers; I read it during my dire straits, right after my U.S. book tour; glugged it down like medicine.)

4. Something in Blue Lace

   

   Ok, obviously no one¹ is going to get this ($19.99) for anyone for Christmas (but wow!) My actual suggestion is something, anything, made of baby blue vintage lace. My gift to you: this search term! Try it. Baby blue lace is sort of creepy, but hot. Old but new. Tacky, yes, but perhaps…full circle into elegance?

5. Collective Survival Tee Shirt $25

   

   Not just a shirt but a plan. Added bonus that it was made by The Blow, one of the best all time bands. (But it's not merch, they made because they actually believe in this.)

6. The Sonic Slider Tuning Fork $85

   

   This is what I sent my dad for his birthday (that he never commented on. But I’m giving him a pass on manners because I am at least 50% dissapointing to him, manners-wise.) My former make-up artist used to use this on my face before she put the make-up on and I got one myself and brought it on my book tour, for beauty purposes, but then was in such (aforementioned) dire straights that I only used it on my solar plexus, again and again, for dear life. I love this thing. Also it's a beautiful object and I like to do it on people and watch them shift into a little trance. You’ll want to get one of the attachments, too. I have the “countour boot”.

7. Vintage Saint Laurent White Silk Blouse Medium 40 Made In France 1970's $79.99

   

   I think this is pretty. The sort of thing that seems too understated or conservative, but then you put it on and Lyft drivers are asking you where you're from and expressing shock that you're from modern-day America. And then you feel like you can't look at your phone for the rest of the ride because you don't want to mess up this one person thinking you are a cut above. I have a similar blouse that I wore the other night to an art show in an apartment; this was my outfit test:

8. Baja Gold Mineral Sea Salt $16.99

   

   For the time being I have to start the day drinking salt water, half a teaspoon in water, so I've been getting the best there is and then I use it for everything else because once you try it, other salt seems crass, almost artificially salt-flavored. This stuff is so fresh it's slightly damp.

9. Yves Saint Laurent Polo Shirt Vintage Big Logo Size Large $49.99

   

   This is really dumb with the big "Yves Saint Laurent pour homme" in the middle of the shirt but actually I am a big ysl fan and this would look kind of fantastic on almost anyone, in fact everything from ebay I’ve listed is something I actually want but I am resisting in order not to sabotage my own gift guide.

10. Pope.L. Backpack

Have you heard of art project/conceptual brand Rongwr0ng? Maybe not because it literally starts tomorrow, but in my mind it’s already historic – one of those things that makes us say we’re actually glad to be alive now. The first object in the series is the Pope.L Backpack (2024):

a near exact replica of the backpack used by Pope.L in a work featured in his show at MoMA in 2019. Hanging on a hook near the exit of the exhibition, the backpack, embroidered "POPE.L" and covered in black tape to obscure its branding, was accompanied by a wall label stating that if the bag was on the hook, the artist was absent from the museum; if it was missing, he was somewhere in the building carrying it.

Pope. L. died around this time last year and he was one of my all time favs (you don’t have to dig very deep to see his influence on me.) And Shirt, the rapper/artist behind Rongwr0ng, is a new favorite.

Made 1:1 with the original, the deluxe backpack is available to purchase tomorrow and ships in 7-10 days. But get this:

it will also be available as one of the first items Rongwr0ng will offer to ship to anyone free of charge, to use the bag for a period of time and then ship it back to us. This 'borrowing' period can range anywhere from a one day event or performance, to a long weekend or period of time traveling.

I don’t know how that fits in with the traditional approach to gift-giving, but I think this is the right direction for ownership. Happy holidays everyone; we’re still here.

1. I actually did suddenly want something like this but I didn’t order this one, for the sake of the gift guide (and the reality of my actual body proportions.) Even this one is probably going to be too big in the tits, but I have an idea that I can cut out the cups and just keep the underwire. Stay tuned!