Restless Hips
Cheap food, strength training, a book rec, a new Beguiled call, SHOE DISCOVERY, grains and so. much. more
Hello everyone and welcome. It’s mid-August in the year 2026. Let’s begin with some cheap ways to eat.
Resturant Corner, Penny Pincher Edition
This one is a chain: you can get three meals out of a 14 dollar Cava bowl — after the second meal leave just a little bit of the insane medley of 15 different things to mix with a can of tuna / some hummus / maybe some saurkraut or whatever you have lying around. Two meals and some stone soup. Couldn’t resist looking up the company. Some issues with insider trading but who among us hasn’t insider traded. It always feels legal in the moment.
This one looks like a chain but it isn’t: the Tofu and Kale starter at Tora Japanese Kitchen is three big pieces of tofu and a heap of saucey kale and this costs 9 dollars. Because of is is near Burger King and has tvs you might need to remind yourself that this is the only location. The staff is kind and it’s only been open since October 20225, when me and my former girlfriend broke up. When you’re doing no contact you have to tell yourself that not texting them on their birthday is what they would want and you also shouldn’t text them to tell them that you didn’t text them on their birthday only because you thought that’s what they would want but that once friendship starts it’s going to be birthday texts every year forever. I didn’t try any of the other dishes so I can’t vouch for them. Also keep in mind: I’m not a foodie; nobody has ever turned to me for a restaurant rec. These are just good deals and I eat them.
Your Trainer
Stregth training comes up from time to time in the chat so here is your reminder that my trainer, James, takes remote clients and a lot of those clients are women writers.
I’ve been doing strength training twice a week for six years now through all different types of health and mobility. (Usually I do it outside but it was too hot on this day.)
Sometimes we’re pushing ahead and sometimes we’re just trying to maintain and sometimes I write James 1am and say I’m going to skip it tomorrow because I don’t think I’ll be rested enough. Once I skipped it for six months, while ill, and we started back up very gently and carefully after that.
The thing I need to improve is my stretching, post-workout. You are my witness: foam roller every day. Just do that unquestioningly for a week (Miranda) and see what happens. As it is I am using the Theragun on my legs and glutes every night as I fall asleep and I hope everyone in the house knows: this is not the sound of a vibrator. I would be more discrete than that and it wouldn’t take so long. I’ve decided to not say this to the teenager since I err on the side of over-speaking…which leads us to:
Three Mnemonics
I’m not in the silencing women business but some of us try to save, fix, phophesize, advise or hold forth when we are feeling dissconected or numb or when a situation or person feels worrisome. Maybe a friend is just SO sad or anxious and so you try to talk her to a better place, talk, talk, talk, even though you know that the main thing she needs is for you to stay connected to her energetically which means staying connected to yourself which can be hard to do when you are Holding Forth.
W.A.I.T. an acronym for Why Am I Talking. You can even say “Wait” out loud, which gives you a chance to ask yourself the question. Slogans and acronyms can seem silly…until you find yourself in recovery for something and have to retrain your brain.
P.A.U.S.E. is Postpone Action Until Serenity Exists — that one works for other things besides talking. I can already tell people are going to quibble with these. Obviously don’t make this your reason to continue being passive. This is for people who think they know everything! Ok, last one:
Does it need to be said? Does it need to be said right now? Does it need to be said by me? Again, don’t misuse this; I sometimes do feel something needs to be said right now by me because I’m not seeing anyone else say it. But I want urgency to be a choice, not my only mode.
Restless Hips
All things come back to the pelvic floor. And I don’t even have any specific pelvic issues — but you look up Restless Hips Syndrome (I think I have that) and suddenly you’re scheduling a session at the Pelvic Health and Rehabilitation Center in Pasadena. If someone so much as whispers “autonomic nervous system” I pay them. I mention this in hopes of some educated comments on the topic.
Beguiled Batch Round
In this episode of Beguiled I am only looking for people who want to satisfy the desires1 of middle-aged divorced moms (let’s call a spade a spade.) You can be any gender, orientation or age as long as it excites you to imagine listening to the very specific yearnings of a woman who has spent her life caring for others and then fullfilling those desires so well, so hilariously, so seriously that you get to watch her face utterly transform before your eyes. Someone close to me recently described how satisfying this is, how it moves him and turns him on — and I believed him! More and more I believe him. Of all the taboo porn tropes, the “mature woman” seems the most cleared for take off. I’m sorry that an older woman desiring and being desired is a scandalous kink, but here we are; let’s make the best of it.
This is a speed round so basically all you need to do is DM me with a photo and a little about yourself, prefferably a link to something in the real world that reassures me about your trustworthiness and is perhaps a tad beguiling. This is not about looks or talent — your talent should be your desire to learn, understand and please, while maintaining your own power and dignity. Everyone in this dynamic retains their power and dignity. (I hope no one is still chasing overly good-looking or talented people. All that matters is their strength of character, sense of humor and how you feel around them.) Depending on how this special batch of Beguilers feels about it, I may just feature all of you in one post and then if you and your Beguiled want to take it to the next level you can each fill out a questionaire. I may not include pictures (I might draw or describe each of the Beguiled? Or someone else who can draw more easily can do this? I can draw, it just takes a lot of concentration to channel a person’s spirit.
