Sugar

A post that has been years in the making

Definitely skip this whole thing if you are like my girlfriend and believe that there is no greater happiness than a woman bringing you a slice of pie with a scoop of vanilla ice cream and then tucking a napkin into your collar and giving it a little pat before walking back into the kitchen. I once had to do five takes of this before I'd gotten the pat just right. "More casual!" she'd say. Or "that was too cold and you turned away too quickly." Finally, we had to trade places and she showed me how it was done and then I was able to do it once, satisfactorily. (I was just as relentless when teaching her to properly grope me: "Slower! Don't just go straight for it. There should be a slowly creeping hand.")