One of my favorite parts of the book was when the protagonist crowd-sourced all her friends to ask what the gifts were of menopause. I shared those extracts with so many people as a lifeline, and so I would love this space to explore this more.
It feels like necessary counter programming to the messages we get about the perils and what we are robbed of during this transition. I want to learn from other women ahead of me what gifts and super powers and insights and awareness they gained. ✨💫☄️
So powerful. I had to read that part again and again. The idea that are gifts in menopause. We have so much to learn from each other in all stages of the process.
I used to teach creative writing classes at senior centers in my late 20's. These women taught me to develop more of the "fuck-its." They had so much gusto and devil-may-care attitudes - I was blown away.
Yes, a very cool friend started a place on Facebook, called menopals for the good and the bad. It really is zine like in its crowd sourced thoughts and experiences and ad hoc and lil messy.
I feel that everyone on this substack has their own informal networks of friends who they’re already talking about this stuff with so the reach would be so huge!
once on instagram you shared a song you sing to yourself when you're feeling down, something like "it's not too late Miranda July..." I don't remember all the words but I still sing it to myself often, as if I too am Miranda July. Would love to hear more about how you keep yourself afloat when times are tough--maybe especially how to work with self-doubt. Also, outfits <3
Me too. Impostor syndrome, self doubt, if jealousy or envy rears its head too, and feelings of over the hillness ever, and everything downhill from here. Also really interested what the back of your hair looks like ha. Like is it pinned up?
Honestly, I have not felt as excited by a Substack in a very long time. The thing that feels special is the sense of community. Thank you for creating this space!
I think, like All Fours, sometimes we don't know what we want, or know what we NEED, until suddenly, there it is in front of us communicating something extraordinary and real and truthful and surprising. (Which is a roundabout way of saying, I'm here for pretty much anything you want to share...)
I agree with this. I also don’t want you to worry about WHAT THE PEOPLE WANT 😩 and it to become a chore for you. I was served your “Handy tip for the easily distracted” on YouTube yesterday and it cheered me up no end. Still perfect after all these years.
I so love your directness and your I don’t know is it fragility? Anyway I am 65 so past the crazy perimenopause stage (and I had my own explosions then). I am interested in creative work (yours specifically) and I write and make art and explore and maybe this group exists to create together. Maybe we play writing games - don’t even know what that is. Exquisite Corpse? Whatever arises is what will be. Xo
Creative writing and creating art together sounds amazing. I feel like this explosion or bursting I feel lately is riding not just a renewing erotic life but also a limitless creative exploration.
I want connection of all kinds. And ideas and prompts and questions to answer. Questions to answer and then to read all the answers and to think of my answer and write it in this space. I love reading what everyone is saying and thinking ‘I feel a little bit of this and a little bit of that and I feel just like that too…and that… this feels like a good space to be in….’
I love this, love you (the big You), and want courage, I am chronically lacking, and I just fall out of myself constantly around others while holding back so much love. I want to be in a community where it feels normal to yearn this much
Yes! ! Fuck yes, normalizing yearning. Yearning for so much. Everything and anything. It reminds me of how my mom used to say, "Who do you think you are to be able to do what you want?" Um, this was so confusing as a kid. Doesn't everyone want this?
Yes - the yearning. The longing and desire and aliveness and obsession. The grief of knowing everything ends even as the yearning is happening. All Fours let us see these pieces of ourselves and not feel alone. Let’s keep this going here.
I am intrigued by this idea of yearning even though we know everything is ending. It is so true. It feels heartbreaking and liberating at the same time. Maybe we yearn because we know things end hoping it is replaced by another type of longing and the fulfillment of that. I am not sure. Thank you for sharing your thoughts on this.
There's a good book on creative writing by Robert Olen Butler called From Where You Dream and in it he writes 'we are the yearning creatures of this planet' and describes fiction as the art form of human yearning :-)
I think wanting a thing is a deep experience of that thing's beauty. The hard part is convincing yourself you can have it, or overcoming the fear of wish fulfillment (losing the desire). Ugh! I relate, I grew up with a lot of denial of desire, especially as a girl, whereas boys sort of get a free pass to do whatever and be whoever they are.
I feel like working with my clients, it is so clear that women have been scrutinized for wanting things for themselves like there is no benefit or honor in that.
Awww thank you! I used to write more creatively but mostly make music and visual art now. And that's interesting about your clients, we internalize that attitude so early, it's really hard to change, this book is such a gift in that way, knowing we all share these struggles and putting words to it. I have a really hard time articulating why I am so unhappy in certain areas of my life that seem outwardly very good, this book has been a bit of a lightning bolt
my plan for 2025 is for your substack to be my primary source of news and to live blissfully in the comments, hopefully making a new friend or fifty. 🌸
I've been a fan of yours since I was in my 20s, now in my 40s and somehow everymajor piece that you've put out meets me at very pivotal moments of change in my life. This has lent to me feeling such a strong emotional and spiritual connection to your work, and has inspired so much of my own creative work and dreams. I love the idea of just having a community space to share amongst one another, play together, create together, as well as just seeing/hearing more from you. I'm sure I'm not the only person here who has considered you a muse of sorts, and your rawness such an inspiration. So so stoked you created this space. The timing is impeccable!
The timing is so perfect for sure. I love the idea of Miranda being our Muse as well being Muses for each other. These pivots you mentioned really require community and support because they feel so unknown. I am so glad you are part of my in-person tribe.
Similar thread - saw Miss Moviola when I was 16 in Olympia, now in my 40s, and it was a huge influence on what I saw as possible, the creation of other worlds and the drag performance I went on to make later, how I still dream of performance. Appreciate this space that feels safe from the toxic aspects of technology platforms and overstimulation online. I look forward to the possibilities of this space opening and expanding for the stories of all of our lives. ♥️
Somatic practices, music and dance, especially the kind of dance and movement practices that call to you and keep you in your body. I wonder what a dance would look like from the perspective of Davey and the main character from “All Fours:” embodied, feral, and free.
Yes! I do this regularly and would love to see it more widely embraced, especially by middle-aged and older people. I think it's one of the most powerful antidotes to patriarchy and the perils of modern tech.
I, too, long for (& do) all the dancing. More of this, and ways to express besides words…. Imagery, honesty, raw, longing, Eros, To be seen in these spaces and places.
I’m 61 years old. Eight years after menopause and 2 months in on estrogen and progesterone, which they now call MHT - menopause hormone therapy. I want to tell you that life is RICH after menopause and there are many ways to navigate. I also want to have that conversation. I listened to All Fours and was mesmerized by your voice, Miranda, and of course the story and the writing. But I was also grateful to be out of that stage of life and onto the next. I’m deeply interested in your writing and have been exploring being bolder in my own work. Bolder. Braver. Frank. Taking creative chances. It’s so powerful. I think that’s a huge phase we go through- identifying our power. So much to explore and I love reading everyone’s thoughts here!
please get on it right away! According to my gynecologist, 10 years post-menopause might be too late for MHT. It's been fantastic for me. I started 7 years post menopause. Deeper sleep, increased vaginal lubrication, absolutely no pain with sex - game changer. I feel like I'm 21 years old again!
One of my favorite parts of the book was when the protagonist crowd-sourced all her friends to ask what the gifts were of menopause. I shared those extracts with so many people as a lifeline, and so I would love this space to explore this more.
It feels like necessary counter programming to the messages we get about the perils and what we are robbed of during this transition. I want to learn from other women ahead of me what gifts and super powers and insights and awareness they gained. ✨💫☄️
Yes! This was incredibly powerful for me, too. Felt like a healing salve for all kinds of wounds and contortions I (we) carry.
So powerful. I had to read that part again and again. The idea that are gifts in menopause. We have so much to learn from each other in all stages of the process.
I used to teach creative writing classes at senior centers in my late 20's. These women taught me to develop more of the "fuck-its." They had so much gusto and devil-may-care attitudes - I was blown away.
Yes, a very cool friend started a place on Facebook, called menopals for the good and the bad. It really is zine like in its crowd sourced thoughts and experiences and ad hoc and lil messy.
Agree, maybe my favourite part of the book in fact
I sobbed reading that section, to my complete surprise and confusion.
I feel that everyone on this substack has their own informal networks of friends who they’re already talking about this stuff with so the reach would be so huge!
Which chapter was that in? Sharing the gifts of menopause ??
Yes literally this. Knowing you got going late. Wearing pj’s on the walk. The sound of the dryer. These little clips of closeness somehow help.
Yes! Agreed! I often feel like a spooky ghost when I sleep in or don’t get dressed, like I’m not a real human cause I’m doing it wrong.
I sometimes feel like a spooky ghost too. Or, sometimes not so spooky, just... a ghost.
That’s it…reality and openness, that’s how you are and how you write 🙂 beautiful
could not agree more
once on instagram you shared a song you sing to yourself when you're feeling down, something like "it's not too late Miranda July..." I don't remember all the words but I still sing it to myself often, as if I too am Miranda July. Would love to hear more about how you keep yourself afloat when times are tough--maybe especially how to work with self-doubt. Also, outfits <3
Me too. Impostor syndrome, self doubt, if jealousy or envy rears its head too, and feelings of over the hillness ever, and everything downhill from here. Also really interested what the back of your hair looks like ha. Like is it pinned up?
OMG, I would love to find this post.
Honestly, I have not felt as excited by a Substack in a very long time. The thing that feels special is the sense of community. Thank you for creating this space!
Yes yes. The possibility of a more authentic exchange feels really exciting to me too.
I think, like All Fours, sometimes we don't know what we want, or know what we NEED, until suddenly, there it is in front of us communicating something extraordinary and real and truthful and surprising. (Which is a roundabout way of saying, I'm here for pretty much anything you want to share...)
I agree with this. I also don’t want you to worry about WHAT THE PEOPLE WANT 😩 and it to become a chore for you. I was served your “Handy tip for the easily distracted” on YouTube yesterday and it cheered me up no end. Still perfect after all these years.
Damn, so well said.
I so love your directness and your I don’t know is it fragility? Anyway I am 65 so past the crazy perimenopause stage (and I had my own explosions then). I am interested in creative work (yours specifically) and I write and make art and explore and maybe this group exists to create together. Maybe we play writing games - don’t even know what that is. Exquisite Corpse? Whatever arises is what will be. Xo
Creative writing and creating art together sounds amazing. I feel like this explosion or bursting I feel lately is riding not just a renewing erotic life but also a limitless creative exploration.
Yes! Agree… there is something afoot
I think it is the non-preparedness that I find appealing? It feels like I just ran into you while running an errand. And that's a delight.
I want connection of all kinds. And ideas and prompts and questions to answer. Questions to answer and then to read all the answers and to think of my answer and write it in this space. I love reading what everyone is saying and thinking ‘I feel a little bit of this and a little bit of that and I feel just like that too…and that… this feels like a good space to be in….’
I love this, love you (the big You), and want courage, I am chronically lacking, and I just fall out of myself constantly around others while holding back so much love. I want to be in a community where it feels normal to yearn this much
“I just fall out of myself constantly around others while holding back so much love.” I found this comment so beautifully worded and relatable.
Yes! ! Fuck yes, normalizing yearning. Yearning for so much. Everything and anything. It reminds me of how my mom used to say, "Who do you think you are to be able to do what you want?" Um, this was so confusing as a kid. Doesn't everyone want this?
Yes - the yearning. The longing and desire and aliveness and obsession. The grief of knowing everything ends even as the yearning is happening. All Fours let us see these pieces of ourselves and not feel alone. Let’s keep this going here.
I am intrigued by this idea of yearning even though we know everything is ending. It is so true. It feels heartbreaking and liberating at the same time. Maybe we yearn because we know things end hoping it is replaced by another type of longing and the fulfillment of that. I am not sure. Thank you for sharing your thoughts on this.
There's a good book on creative writing by Robert Olen Butler called From Where You Dream and in it he writes 'we are the yearning creatures of this planet' and describes fiction as the art form of human yearning :-)
Oh wow!!! I'll have to read that! Thank you for the recommendation, that sounds accurate, haha
I think wanting a thing is a deep experience of that thing's beauty. The hard part is convincing yourself you can have it, or overcoming the fear of wish fulfillment (losing the desire). Ugh! I relate, I grew up with a lot of denial of desire, especially as a girl, whereas boys sort of get a free pass to do whatever and be whoever they are.
Are you a poet? You captured that so beautifully.
I feel like working with my clients, it is so clear that women have been scrutinized for wanting things for themselves like there is no benefit or honor in that.
Awww thank you! I used to write more creatively but mostly make music and visual art now. And that's interesting about your clients, we internalize that attitude so early, it's really hard to change, this book is such a gift in that way, knowing we all share these struggles and putting words to it. I have a really hard time articulating why I am so unhappy in certain areas of my life that seem outwardly very good, this book has been a bit of a lightning bolt
Yes this!
my plan for 2025 is for your substack to be my primary source of news and to live blissfully in the comments, hopefully making a new friend or fifty. 🌸
I've been a fan of yours since I was in my 20s, now in my 40s and somehow everymajor piece that you've put out meets me at very pivotal moments of change in my life. This has lent to me feeling such a strong emotional and spiritual connection to your work, and has inspired so much of my own creative work and dreams. I love the idea of just having a community space to share amongst one another, play together, create together, as well as just seeing/hearing more from you. I'm sure I'm not the only person here who has considered you a muse of sorts, and your rawness such an inspiration. So so stoked you created this space. The timing is impeccable!
The timing is so perfect for sure. I love the idea of Miranda being our Muse as well being Muses for each other. These pivots you mentioned really require community and support because they feel so unknown. I am so glad you are part of my in-person tribe.
Yes, exactly this.
Similar thread - saw Miss Moviola when I was 16 in Olympia, now in my 40s, and it was a huge influence on what I saw as possible, the creation of other worlds and the drag performance I went on to make later, how I still dream of performance. Appreciate this space that feels safe from the toxic aspects of technology platforms and overstimulation online. I look forward to the possibilities of this space opening and expanding for the stories of all of our lives. ♥️
Let’s get weird. The weirder the better, you weirdos.
Hell yeah! I think we all would be happier embracing our wild weirdness.
I think I just want…practice…being courageous?
Your one line was so true to me. I want to practice this too. In all areas of my life, not just the professional, business building side.
This is honestly perfect
Somatic practices, music and dance, especially the kind of dance and movement practices that call to you and keep you in your body. I wonder what a dance would look like from the perspective of Davey and the main character from “All Fours:” embodied, feral, and free.
This is beatiful. Wild, loose dancing. Let's have online dance parties.
In favor ❤️ of dance parties
Yes! I do this regularly and would love to see it more widely embraced, especially by middle-aged and older people. I think it's one of the most powerful antidotes to patriarchy and the perils of modern tech.
I, too, long for (& do) all the dancing. More of this, and ways to express besides words…. Imagery, honesty, raw, longing, Eros, To be seen in these spaces and places.
✨
I’m 61 years old. Eight years after menopause and 2 months in on estrogen and progesterone, which they now call MHT - menopause hormone therapy. I want to tell you that life is RICH after menopause and there are many ways to navigate. I also want to have that conversation. I listened to All Fours and was mesmerized by your voice, Miranda, and of course the story and the writing. But I was also grateful to be out of that stage of life and onto the next. I’m deeply interested in your writing and have been exploring being bolder in my own work. Bolder. Braver. Frank. Taking creative chances. It’s so powerful. I think that’s a huge phase we go through- identifying our power. So much to explore and I love reading everyone’s thoughts here!
Yes, identifying our power is so on target.
How do you like MHT? Almost 10 years past menopause and Thinking of it myself
please get on it right away! According to my gynecologist, 10 years post-menopause might be too late for MHT. It's been fantastic for me. I started 7 years post menopause. Deeper sleep, increased vaginal lubrication, absolutely no pain with sex - game changer. I feel like I'm 21 years old again!