Goal: Penultimate MSA (Marriage settlement agreement) figure out how much I can charge my doctor husband for spousal support while I find a career that will provide long term security living in the Bay Area after ten years of non-starting my career as a writer/journalist/documentary person because I was birthing and raising his two children while he rose through the ranks to become a well-paid doctor. Must add: find livelihood / stop procrastinating starting to work after ten years of not working while I took care of other people.
Goal: get through this IVF cycle without magical thinking or zoom and gloom. Get at least 7500 steps a day and don’t demean myself on days when 10,000 aren’t feasible. Kiss the tops of my elderly dogs soft sweet heads. Actually eat all the veggies from the farm share.
stay in the "this is my one life" place and act from there, vs being owned by the aching, needy black holes of my lists, the Summer, my family, the state of the world...
Back away slowly from ruminating on you know what. Edit and enjoy it, let it be a greeting instead of a humiliation. Let the leash slip a couple times this week
Goals: Get the revision submitted, make list of all the other work things I need to get going on after the revision is submitted, keep writing about the wacky threesome, start packing again, schedule the needleplay scene, maybe buy some new lingerie (what is this bra in the vid, MJ?)
Intentions: reconnect with novel draft, get down ideas for new Substack post, allow myself to go slow with grief and life reentry, clean shit, bedroom dance, find the pleasure
Finish the essay, revise and revise until…, submit, make scape pesto, pick up branches from the storm, study Cezanne and write, catalog books for the library sale, walk more, stop getting bit by black flies!!!
Carry on putting together my poems in the travel notebook, get to Sunday without spending money, find and make a nice summer dessert recipe, with the ingredients already have in the house. Moon bathing xx
Goal: Penultimate MSA (Marriage settlement agreement) figure out how much I can charge my doctor husband for spousal support while I find a career that will provide long term security living in the Bay Area after ten years of non-starting my career as a writer/journalist/documentary person because I was birthing and raising his two children while he rose through the ranks to become a well-paid doctor. Must add: find livelihood / stop procrastinating starting to work after ten years of not working while I took care of other people.
Girl you were WORKING!!!! I am wishing you so many good things!
I know some of this story and wish you luck so that you can then give me the courage. Ask for all of it. 🙏🏽
Goal: seriously start thinking about how to get over my nicotine addiction
Goal: as can, be a light--shed, shine, rest, return--refuse to be eclipsed.
Refuse to be eclipsed….that really captures how I’m feeling. 🩷
Goal: To lay down horizontally in the middle of the day, without guilt or shame. Even when others are busy around me.
Goal: get through this IVF cycle without magical thinking or zoom and gloom. Get at least 7500 steps a day and don’t demean myself on days when 10,000 aren’t feasible. Kiss the tops of my elderly dogs soft sweet heads. Actually eat all the veggies from the farm share.
stay in the "this is my one life" place and act from there, vs being owned by the aching, needy black holes of my lists, the Summer, my family, the state of the world...
Goal: be nice to mom during her visit even though I don't really think she deserves it
Keep on finishing. Focus on the loose ends. Nail down the details. Do the bookkeeping to keep things working.
Back away slowly from ruminating on you know what. Edit and enjoy it, let it be a greeting instead of a humiliation. Let the leash slip a couple times this week
Goals: Get the revision submitted, make list of all the other work things I need to get going on after the revision is submitted, keep writing about the wacky threesome, start packing again, schedule the needleplay scene, maybe buy some new lingerie (what is this bra in the vid, MJ?)
Update: Got the revision submitted!!!
Intentions: reconnect with novel draft, get down ideas for new Substack post, allow myself to go slow with grief and life reentry, clean shit, bedroom dance, find the pleasure
Goal: sing & dance everyday, send the I&A to Tanya, organize the music spot.
Goal: harvest garlic, cut down peas, figure out what to plant where the garlic was
Pumpkins?
Maybe! Or I’ll try sowing carrots and lettuce and see what survives
Finish the essay, revise and revise until…, submit, make scape pesto, pick up branches from the storm, study Cezanne and write, catalog books for the library sale, walk more, stop getting bit by black flies!!!
Goal: stay wiggly..time still is not going by the way it should be…it is in a long form version of slowing down as during a car accident in progress
Carry on putting together my poems in the travel notebook, get to Sunday without spending money, find and make a nice summer dessert recipe, with the ingredients already have in the house. Moon bathing xx
I'm gearing up to make a strawberry almond cake